I didn't really set any New Year goals. I do hope to keep up with working out and it would be great if I could get more reading done. What I'm really striving for though, what it feels like I've been working towards forever, is contentment or rather a sense of inner calmness/peace.
See even though I didn't set any particular New Year goals I was ready to get moving this week: there were plans to be made, tasks to be checked off, etc. Then Jeremy's work got unexpectedly busy and he had to check out sooner than I'd hoped. We had to deal with some family illnesses. Nothing got planned! Very few of the tasks got checked off. I woke up this morning feeling behind and out of balance. I don't always deal well with feeling behind - I get edgy and mean. This has lead to many past regrets so this morning I prayed for mercy and strength. I was gently reminded that my main goal is to make my husband and my children feel like they safe and that they are loved. I memorized James 1:20 a couple years back and it's served as constant reminder that doing things in anger (or out of frustration) never results in the righteousness (goodness) God desires. It doesn't matter how much I can accomplish if it's done in a destructive manner. I want my house to be a place were people are built up even it means that there are 'things' that never get done.
So today I kept repeating to myself love and safety. When I walked past Mini Man's room this morning and I saw him smile and then close his eyes like he was still sleeping I decided to go in and cuddle. To enjoy the moment and forget about the job I was about to do. Laundry didn't' get put away, Christmas decorations are still not in the attic, and I'm still behind on where I'd like to be at school planning. Big Buddy and I, however, spent an hour talking over his Legos. Little Lady and I danced. The kids and I sat on the couch and read countless books. Jeremy, who I know would much rather be at home, was able to focus at work because I assured him that despite the 'chaos' we would be fine. And we were. The 'have tos' were accomplished: everyone was feed, we did school (it actually went very well!), the basic household chores were completed, etc.
Today was a good day! It wasn't 'perfect' but it was peaceful and full of love which is even better.