Joyfully Weary

Josiah turns four this week. I'm a mess of emotions, proud of who he is and so excited for the next stages, but at the same time mourning the ones that have flown by far too quickly. There are moments when I just want my children to hurry up and grow, to not need me so much, to speak through words instead of tears, and to not be so messy! Then a birthday hits, and I'm reminded of how fast time is going and would give anything to slow it down. The baby fat, tiny feet, and cute mispronounced words are quickly disappearing. There's a lot of good stuff taking it's place but a part of me still misses the "baby". In my state of melancholy I've been looking through pictures and thought I'd share some of my favorites. The day we brought him home Impressing Maca & Papa Mini Cuse Fan 1st Daddy Buddy photo shoot Coppertone Baby Day at the local splash pad Sporting Daddy's hat One of the worst days of my life, ...

Today I'm driving to Iowa to pick up my baby sister, Angel, for her annual summer visit. I am super excited - she's one my favorite people anywhere.  She's not really a baby anymore though, she'll be sixteen next month and is actually quite sophisticated.  Via Kim-mee She even likes boys now... cardboard cut outs of them at least. Via Kim-mee No matter how big she gets though I'll always think of her as the little girl who caught the bouquet at my wedding... and who liked to sneak bottles of chocolate syrup out of my fridge. No comment on where she learned this behavior, or why there where two open bottles of chocolate syrup in my fridge.   I'm so thankful for the memories these visits have given us and can't wait to make more.  

As previously mentioned , I don't do well with undone and living with Kayleia's not-quite-finished nursery has required a lot of patience. For several reasons - Josiah, Micah, & an old needy house - finding time to work on our the third nursery in less than 4 years has proven difficult. When I found out we were having a girl I was ecstatic and had a lot of fun dreaming about how to decorate her room.  I knew I didn't want pink or pastel. I wanted rich colors and a theme that wouldn't scream "baby" in a year.  When I found this fabric I instantly fell in love...perfect. Perch by Alice Kennedy I thought it would be fun to carry the bird theme to a mobile and began scouring the internet for inspiration, it wasn't long before I stumbled upon this... Spool Bird Mobile and Pattern which then led to this... Tip Junkie   Love & perfection again!  It took awhile to find the perfect branch (my boys had a lot of fun bringing home many opt...

It doesn't take most people long to notice that I thoroughly enjoy coffee & chocolate & sugar & cream.  Frappucinos are perfect blend of all these things and with the heat, I've been craving them more than usual. Sadly, $5 beverages aren't in our budget. In desperation (spending above 95 degree days with three young children gets you to this point fast) I looked around our kitchen to see if I could create my own version. Ingredients 2 C strong coffee (chilled), 8 Ice Cubes, 2 scoops vanilla ice cream, 1/8 C chocolate syrup, 1/8 C Heath Bits,   Throw it all in blender for 10 seconds Drink. Enjoy. Be Happy. It turned out pretty well.  Maybe too well - my morning green smoothie has been replaced by mock frappucinos. It's summer, so ice cream with your breakfast is totally acceptable...right?

Our bathroom is not quite finished.  We started remodeling last summer and still have some undone areas as well as more decorating to do. Door Frame 7/11 Heating Vent 7/11 This can be a problem for someone like me.  Someone who loves the feeling of crossing a task off a list and the sense of accomplishment, peace, and control that follows. Unfinished and I just don't get along. He's annoying and exhausting.  Instead of focusing on Unfinished though, I've taken to looking at these... View from Hall 9/09 Bathtub 9/09 Or these... View from back wall 8/10 View from doorway 8/10 Suddenly Unfinished doesn't seem quite so bad. View from doorway 7/11 View from back wall 7/11 I'm actually quite fond of him .

With two children I felt like I had system, a schedule, a little bit of control. Then we had Kayleia and the system broke. Even when Jeremy is home we are out numbered & when he's at work, I don't stand a chance. Our days are filled with chaos. There are times when everything feels frantic...and then she smiles. All of a sudden the world stops spinning... I can't help but stop, take a breath, and smile back. All my children have amazing smiles but there is something extra sweet about hers.  Something that makes it even more entrancing.  Maybe it's because she a girl... Or maybe it's because I think she looks like her daddy & his smile has also been known to stop me in my tracks.  c/o  www.RyanAndHeidi.com Whatever the reason, I love it & wouldn't trade it for a million calm controlled days.

J oy is something I'm learning you have to choose. There are times it comes on you suddenly, all consumingly, winning out over all other emotions...but far more often you have to choose. Choose to focus on the happy instead of the sad. Celebrate the finished instead of dreading the undone. See the beauty in the mess. Hear the music amidst the clatter.  Embrace what's been given, forget the rest. So every Wednesday I'm taking the time to choose. To focus on joy... Having two boys is quite the adventure.  It's loud, messy, exhausting...and a whole lot of fun.  One of the best parts is watching them become friends.  I love how Micah follows Josiah around mimicking him and how Josiah welcomes the company.  I love hearing them crack each other up; even when it is at the dinner table or when they are suppose to be sleeping.  I even love the messes they make when they are lost inside their own make believe world.   It's such an amazing blessi...