Small Graces

This past week was a hard one. Despite everyone being healthy again, the kids are still not sleeping well; Jer and I are starting to suspect they are taking 2 hours shifts. We also had to deal with some sneaky, defiant behavior. Jeremy and I had a few arguments heated discussions. And to top it all off, it's that "special time"; which for some reason is much more intense post 30 and after three babies. 

I've struggled this week. Struggled to find joy when all I wanted to do was crawl under the covers. Struggled to act with grace when I felt my frustrations were very justified. I've had to pray for strength often and I have been incredibly grateful for these sections of scripture I memorized last month. 

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 

for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

~James 1: 19-20~

Very few people would describe me as animated or emotional. I'm not quick to get excited and it takes a lot to make me cry. I wish sometimes the release of emotions came easier to me. I think that then they wouldn't build up as much and anger (that hurts and causes so much shame) would not come out towards the ones I love most. I have been reciting the above verses to myself a lot. I want to encourage and bring out the best things in my husband and my children. I want them to glorify God - my anger is never going to bring them to that spot. 

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. 

And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes 

and be careful to obey my rules.

~Ezekiel 36:26~

Sometimes it can feel like we are making no progress; that I'm still struggling with the same old sins. That the kids are misbehaving in the same ways, that there is no maturity or growth in responsibility. That Jeremy and I's arguments heated discussions are just repeats. This of course is a lie; by the grace God we are growing! And His grace is as sure as the sunrise. We have made progress! Ezekiel 36:26 is the verse I cling to when I feel like I've just taken two steps back. The LORD has promised to give me a new heart, HIS Spirit dwells within me! It's not an easy or a quick journey but we/I am farther down the road at the end of every day. 

I believe that prayer and scripture are the best places to go for true healing and restoration. I, however, am also extremely grateful for the refreshment provided by life's little joys/distractions/small graces:

Good food.

fresh cream of tomato soup, homemade bread, and peach & feta salad

apple crepes with caramel sauce

Old trees and sunsets

Dates with my children, getting to watching them experience good things for the first time. 

mini man and i headed out for a dinner and a bit of theatre

The adrenaline rush that comes with finding thrifted treasures - and the 25% off birthday coupon that made them even cheaper. 

Projects and a family who loves me so much they are happy to help me indulge my product-driven side.

This post is part of weekly series inspired in part by Bob Bennett's song "Small Graces".

sometimes they slip by without notice

sometimes they are very hard to see
other times it's very clear when they are happening to me

they are a reminder to the heart there is more to this life than meets they eye...

He is in the small graces, the little moments when the miracles come...

small graces pointing me to the larger one...

little glimpses of the kingdom come

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